My first reaction to the remarks was, “Well if you don’t like it, then unfriend me.” Having been hurt when ill in hospital by some friends who implied my choices had made me sick, and then blocking them, I have somewhat mellowed over the ensuing months.

However, then I thought about the three women and one man I said this to, and how important their friendships were to me. Two are sisters at my church. One an old friend and cherished Christian brother on the other side of the world. Another, someone I’ve known and loved for 20 years.

So I went off-page and off-script and reached out on Messenger. I apologised for causing offence. Then I asked them to explain their point of view more.

What resulted was grace overflowing and abounding. Instead of hostility, peace and forgiveness started to flow in both directions.

A sister from church, transformed from someone whose mindset I didn’t understand to a much more well-rounded rational being with thought processes and stances I could respect.

One friend explained she had a hard day applying for jobs and getting frustrated – a situation I understood. I thought I was ready to return to the classroom for a half-day position, but fear of letting down another Board and school if I was sick again filled me with anxiety, and I couldn’t finish the application. Lord, send someone who’s fit and well! Given Omicron, it was wise. They couldn’t send me in. It would have been more stress for everyone involved. Empathy and understanding grew, and I was able to bless this friend practically in the end.

Another, a sister from church, transformed from someone whose mindset I didn’t understand to a much more well-rounded rational being with thought processes and stances I could respect. Moreover, she shared her heart, which had sought after God’s wisdom in this, and asked if she should act against her gut instinct. God’s guidance to her was that she should act in accordance with her conscience.

I reflected to this sister that I believe God allows brothers and sisters to be different in their world views so that we can see and reach and relate to more of the world. The church’s members currently reflect the various views in the community. A quick look at Eternity News’comments on Facebook proves that.

However, the church’s members – “the bride” – are meant to be different. As grace and forgiveness and love flow from the Lord to us, we are meant to be outpouring grace and forgiveness and love to each other, and to the world. There really doesn’t seem to be much of that happening at the moment.

I think we all need to pause and try to respond graciously, “not thinking ourselves above others”, when we respond. I recognise the irony in my writing this, but pray that God will continue to work on my heart and mind, causing me to confess and repent when I fail in future, and forgive my past.

I think it is timely that we spend some time dealing with this issue now, and trying to get better at this now, because more beef, by way of Democracy Sausages, is on the horizon. We all know the church is, politically, a broad church. If I don’t agree with others’ political points of view, I can choose to still love, and respond in love, to those with different views.

I pray the Lord will help us all to be less salty with each other in this season (pun ever so slightly intended) and the next, so that we can truly be salt and light.

For instance, I have a friend who is the polar opposite of me on politics, particularly when it comes to socioeconomic issues. She rarely posts things on my page these days, unless I offend her politics. I choose to actively encourage, to pray for her, to celebrate her joys, weep with her in her sadness, and try to overlook offence when it comes. This often involves rewriting replies several times or sometimes choosing not to reply. But I do all this out of love for her, the Body of Christ, for peace, and out of love for Christ, who unites us. I pray, and please pray for me in this, that I will get better at this with all my friends.

I pray the Lord will help us all to be less salty with each other in this season (pun ever so slightly intended) and the next, so that we can truly be salt and light.

As for the sister with the different viewpoint, we were able to share each other’s thinking more deeply than ever, and I now love her more deeply than as just a church acquaintance. She’s truly a sister. We still come at these things from different angles, but now there is true love and respect and forbearance. The Spirit did his work in us.

The other two Christian friends are still friends, too. I understand their views better now. I don’t necessarily agree with them, but at least we understand each other. We are “each fully convinced in our own minds”. I think given Scripture gives room for that, and we should also in our online discussions.

As a final remark, I’d encourage us to read Philippians 2, and reflect on the Lord we all love, follow, and want to be like. Be prepared to let your heart break a little, repent, possibly humiliate yourself, and not win arguments. However, as long as you can honestly say you are trying to live as a disciple of Christ, that’s okay. God refines us through fire.

God bring you all grace, peace and forgiveness as you interact online.